Last Friday was Ikram’s wedding so, interested to experience a traditional Bangladeshi marriage ceremony, I headed to the village to have a look.
I had been told to go on Thursday for his gai holud ceremony. Other than its name, I could get little information about what it actually entailed. All the family were at Ikram’s house, ready to start the proceedings, but the power was out so we had to wait. I tried to use this time to find out what gai holud actually was but, other than being told “body yellow” I didn’t succeed.
When the electricity finally came back on, Ikram sat on the bed in the living room with two big, heart-shaped boxes of sweets, an empty plate and a small bowl of yellow paste in front of him. One by one, family members went and sat with him, smeared the paste on his face, fed him the sweets and put some money on the plate. When everyone had finished painting him, we had dinner and a bit of dancing around in the living room. Hard to do without a drink, I tell you.
The next day, suitably attired in my new sari,
Doing my ‘Deshi best in a sari.
I went back to the house for the main event. I’d been told to be there by 10 a.m. but, in true Bangladeshi fashion, nothing happened until close to midday. We had photos at home with Ikram all dressed up in his fineries, posing on the soon-to-be marital bed, which the men had decorated with flowers the night before. (Must have been fun for Ikram’s uncle and brother-in-law who had slept on it.)
We then piled into minibuses and cars and drove to the bride’s village. We were greeted by her family members who through flowers over everyone and gave us more sweets. Ikram was photographed more times than I could count but, and here is the start of the strange part, no sign of the bride. I assumed that she would make some big entrance to the Bridal March or whatever the ‘Deshi equivalent is.
The groom was placed on a small and brightly decorated stage while we all had snacks. The imam came and, with no ado at all, spoke to Ikram, his brother-in-law and the bride’s father. Some papers were signed and that was it – he was married. But, still no sign of the bride.
Lunch was served and eaten, lots of chit-chat, no bride. Around 3:30 p.m. and our minibus was ready to leave back to Jessore. I couldn’t quite comprehend that I was about to leave a wedding without having seen the blushing bride, so I made a few inquiries and was taken out of the back of the tent, into the family home, and guided into a room bustling with people. There sat the bride, on a bed, stunningly attired but not moving and looking to be on the brink of tears. We had a pic (I smiled, she didn’t) and then I left.
As it turns out, the bride is expected to look sad because she is leaving her family home. However, I’m not sure if the groom is expected to look as confused as this one did!
The groom on his stage, one of the few shots of him smiling and not looking confused!
nazmeengreen 